i already know what my word for 2013 is going to be:: grace.

beautiful grace. lifesaving and life-changing grace. i don’t think there’s a word so lovely in all of the English language.


here’s the thing, though:: grace is so much more than a word. it’s this powerful, mysterious force that has worked its way into every fiber of my being, affecting the way i think and feel and act and believe and love.

especially how i love.

grace opened my eyes so that i might see how cherished and adored i am by my Jesus. not because of my effort. not because of my accomplishment or striving or anything about me in and of itself. grace has loved me despite me.

and it has asked me to love my brothers, my sisters the same way.

the ones who i don’t think deserve it. the ones who have failed me, hurt me, disappointed me. the ones on the outside, the outskirts, pushed aside and discarded. the ones who no one else will love. the ones who don’t even know how to love back.

i can hear grace calling me:: love them.

the thing about grace is that it’s messy.

it’s hard and uncomfortable. it requires me to get outside of myself, to take risks, to love wildly and with abandon. it’s scary, filled with questions and doubt. people don’t understand it. they think i’m crazy, a radical, irrational. they tell me i think too much with my heart and not enough with my mind.

like i said:: grace is messy.

it’s a beautiful mess though.

because when i get down there in the dirt, in the hard places, in the pain and the areas outside my comfort zone, i find grace is right there with me. softening me. strengthening me. giving me the words to speak and how to say them. stretching this tender, bleeding heart of mine more than i ever thought possible that there may be even more room for love, love, love.

it was in my mess that grace found me. and i was forever changed.
and now, as the saying goes, i’m just one beggar, telling another where to find bread.
i kneel down in the mess, in the mud and point my beggar-friend towards the Source. the Love. the Grace.

it’s messy–but so, so beautiful.
for when you embrace the mess, you find the beauty. when you accept the brokenness, you find restoration. when you allow the pain, you are shown healing:: always.

may the messy-beautiful grace be with you and in you and through you.


3 thoughts on “[messy]

  1. Pingback: when grace both hurts and heals | elena.teresa.ann

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