As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God. (Psalm 42:1)
I woke up early this morning. Really early. The air was still thick with darkness, heavy with the cold. Wrapping myself in a blanket, I sat down at the table with only my Bible and my journal, determined to encounter the One I’ve been longing for.
I’ve decided that I’m tired of complacency. I realized that I reached this point where I felt “comfortable” with God. I was reading my Word, praying, going to church & Bible study – all good things (don’t get me wrong) with which I was content … for a while. But I’ve reached the point where I want more, more of Him in me, through me, all around me.
I believe that as we draw ourselves near to Him, He draws even nearer to us. I want to be nearer, deeper, closer to Him than ever before. I want fusion between my spirit and His. I want to feel Him, real and alive, in my bones, in my core, in the very depth of everything that I am.
So this morning I sat at that table with closed eyes and an open, expectant heart and felt Him flood into me. Oh, how I missed that feeling! I’ve been craving it, yearning for it for so long.As I sat there, warmed not my blanket nor the dawn peeking in through the blinds nor even the mug of steaming coffee that I held between my hands, all I could think was, ‘God, I’m in awe of you.’ He’s the one who formed both the heavens and the earth, yet He was there, in my apartment, spending that moment with me.
I think too often we forget how important, how life changing, those precious little moments can be. We get too focused on the long term, on the big picture, that we lose sight of the here and now. The truth is that we are not promised anything more than this moment. It’s all we have. But if we let Him, God can encounter us in those moments and use them to take our breath away. It’s God giving us exactly what we need at the exact time we need it. It’s the Creator meeting with the created. It’s life in every sense of the word.